Saturday, March 28, 2009
/ 10:56 AM
Just when I thought work gonna go easy this term, I have another suspect case of anorexic in class. Met the parents this week, talked to the girl, emailed the teachers. I jokingly told a friend that I am now pretty experienced in meeting parents, taking notes during meeting and stuff.
Project meetings started this week. Five groups to mentor, it was such a nightmare. It certainly doesn't help when I overheard colleagues complaining why no group was selected from their sec two class. Not that I can do anything about it, they can take those groups if they want. What really made me feel bad about this whole day was, I have to turn down the groups in my own class to take other groups whom may not be keen in this altogether. I find it so ironical that being the coordinator, I can't even choose to take in the groups I want.
Shall not be too bothered about it. It just doesn't pay to grow white hair cos of work and stuff which I have completely no control of. And not recognized of. The recent performance bonus was a good indicator. When I heard my friend in another school was not promoted this year, I was truly disappointed in the system, for I know, I will end up in the same situation few years down the road.
At this moment, without great hopes, without recognition, my only hope is value add my girls during my term of service, to groom them into respectable, responsible and responsive individuals who can in turn contribute to the society years down the road. I can't cure anorexia, but I hope with my support, they can walk out of the dark tunnel and have the courage to face themselves and the world once again.
I have been consciously reminding myself, I can afford to make mistakes, but I must see values in these mistakes. I won't make the same mistake twice. If a person has a bad impression of me because of one mistake I have made and condemns me from then on, then it is this person's loss for missing the opportunity to see me rising cos of the mistake. It is not possible to attack me using my mistake. I will move on from there.
Even if I have forgotten what my lecturers in nus have taught me, I'll always bring with me the life skills some have made the effort to inculcate in me.
Even if coming to this school is a mistake, it is a mistake which I can afford to make, because, I have the freedom to leave.
Entering this profession has taught me a few things, among which, most importantly, I have learned how to appreciate my parents better. Every time I meet parents, the mothers weep. I believe I must have made my mum shed a substantial amount of tears when I was a teenager.
Project meetings started this week. Five groups to mentor, it was such a nightmare. It certainly doesn't help when I overheard colleagues complaining why no group was selected from their sec two class. Not that I can do anything about it, they can take those groups if they want. What really made me feel bad about this whole day was, I have to turn down the groups in my own class to take other groups whom may not be keen in this altogether. I find it so ironical that being the coordinator, I can't even choose to take in the groups I want.
Shall not be too bothered about it. It just doesn't pay to grow white hair cos of work and stuff which I have completely no control of. And not recognized of. The recent performance bonus was a good indicator. When I heard my friend in another school was not promoted this year, I was truly disappointed in the system, for I know, I will end up in the same situation few years down the road.
At this moment, without great hopes, without recognition, my only hope is value add my girls during my term of service, to groom them into respectable, responsible and responsive individuals who can in turn contribute to the society years down the road. I can't cure anorexia, but I hope with my support, they can walk out of the dark tunnel and have the courage to face themselves and the world once again.
I have been consciously reminding myself, I can afford to make mistakes, but I must see values in these mistakes. I won't make the same mistake twice. If a person has a bad impression of me because of one mistake I have made and condemns me from then on, then it is this person's loss for missing the opportunity to see me rising cos of the mistake. It is not possible to attack me using my mistake. I will move on from there.
Even if I have forgotten what my lecturers in nus have taught me, I'll always bring with me the life skills some have made the effort to inculcate in me.
Even if coming to this school is a mistake, it is a mistake which I can afford to make, because, I have the freedom to leave.
Entering this profession has taught me a few things, among which, most importantly, I have learned how to appreciate my parents better. Every time I meet parents, the mothers weep. I believe I must have made my mum shed a substantial amount of tears when I was a teenager.
Labels: school
Sunday, March 15, 2009
/ 9:20 PM
I like the mouse, coz it is small and adventurous, just like me. ok, maybe not. :) A significant improvement from the previous movie I watched with wq, I didn't fall asleep this time round. Despite all the raves bout the ponyo anime, I dozed off half way. Seriously, although the pink fish was cute, I thought the movie was kind of boring. The soundtrack was like a lullaby. Zzzz....
Hope to catch up on some sleep next week. It's the March holidays. Many of the students are involved in the upcoming SYF, and they gonna be in school 6 days next week. Poor kiddos. I bet they'll have no time to do my assignment...
The term zoomed past. I'm so glad it is finally over. Hosting of guests from Shenyang, mad rush of reports for submission for competition, organizing the preliminary round, conducting smo training and all the crazy admin work for the camp... they are finally over. Hopefully, I'll get to spend more time with my remedial kiddos next term and gear them towards the block test.
ok, I'll go and sleep, though it is only 9.36pm. I've been sleeping early these days coz I was really exhausted. Getting old...
Monday, March 09, 2009
/ 10:33 AM
Two days of career conference, followed by three days at downtown east. The series of career talks, I must say, it gave the girls a good head start in considering their directions for the next few years. Apart from this, one important takeaway is, we shouldn't choose our jobs for glamor or money. It is the passion that will make us persevere.
Passion, that's probably the element which stopped me from hanging up the phone when the unreasonable mother screamed at me. It is probably the element which made me forgive and forget some of the things which my students have done. And lastly, it is what that gives me the courage to drag myself out of bed each morning and return to school.
Three tiring days at downtown east. During formal dinner, the little mischievous girls transformed into gorgeous ladies. Not to be compared to my time when I simply took something out from my wardrobe and wore it for grad nite. I looked at their make-up kit, their dresses and their shoes. Together with the amount they gonna pay for the camp itself, I estimated an average of $500 for each girl.
Make-up, clothes are one-time purchases. The graciousness cultivated into them is a 16-years-investment. They are fortunate girls. I hope they won't be getting new dresses for the end of year graduation night.
The camp itself, no fantastic food (I wonder why the students were made to pay so much). The rooms were reasonably comfortable (but still not worth the money). The girls are asking for hotels (they probably don't feel the pain of the bad economy). They enjoyed the talks (while I was feeling bored at the back of the room, and ended up marking their assignments). It was a tiring camp, because I only had 4 hours of sleep on the second day (activities from 6.30am till 11.30pm with roll-call at 12 plus).
I must say, I had a good time talking to some of the teachers. I think, they are indeed good role models for the girls, who are passionate about teaching and concerned bout the girls.
Took some photos with my beautiful girls, you may view them on facebook. If not for my wrinkles and worried face, I'll probably look like one of them.
Passion, that's probably the element which stopped me from hanging up the phone when the unreasonable mother screamed at me. It is probably the element which made me forgive and forget some of the things which my students have done. And lastly, it is what that gives me the courage to drag myself out of bed each morning and return to school.
Three tiring days at downtown east. During formal dinner, the little mischievous girls transformed into gorgeous ladies. Not to be compared to my time when I simply took something out from my wardrobe and wore it for grad nite. I looked at their make-up kit, their dresses and their shoes. Together with the amount they gonna pay for the camp itself, I estimated an average of $500 for each girl.
Make-up, clothes are one-time purchases. The graciousness cultivated into them is a 16-years-investment. They are fortunate girls. I hope they won't be getting new dresses for the end of year graduation night.
The camp itself, no fantastic food (I wonder why the students were made to pay so much). The rooms were reasonably comfortable (but still not worth the money). The girls are asking for hotels (they probably don't feel the pain of the bad economy). They enjoyed the talks (while I was feeling bored at the back of the room, and ended up marking their assignments). It was a tiring camp, because I only had 4 hours of sleep on the second day (activities from 6.30am till 11.30pm with roll-call at 12 plus).
I must say, I had a good time talking to some of the teachers. I think, they are indeed good role models for the girls, who are passionate about teaching and concerned bout the girls.
Took some photos with my beautiful girls, you may view them on facebook. If not for my wrinkles and worried face, I'll probably look like one of them.
Labels: school
Saturday, February 28, 2009
/ 3:57 PM
The hectic three weeks are finally over. I wonder if any of our teams make it to the final round. I guess no matter what the results are, whether I have met the targets or not, the more important thing is that the girls have learned from the experience and have been stretched in one way or another. Of course, I'm sure I'll be disappointed if none of my groups is selected, but I believe this is part and parcel of life which we have to learn to accept.
Next week is graces camp. It is going to be exciting for both myself and the girls. Too bad we aren't staying in the same block.
My four weeks of SMO training has ended too. I hope my explanations made sense to them. Some of the girls are really outstanding, I believe with good guidance and inspirations, they will be able to excel.
Everyday, more than 12 hours is spent on work, another hour on travelling. There's little time left for my closed ones, not to mention time for self-reflections and blah blah. I'm trying to convince myself that I'm doing so because I love my students, which I believe, it is really the case. Just yesterday, I spent two hours with one student, to bridge the gaps for the lessons she had missed coz of softball matches. I tried cheering her up, because she lost the match in the morning, which disqualified us for semi-finals. The two hours were intended for reading reports. So I ended up reading them on my way home and another hour in my intended sleep time.
I remember when my mum was all emo and upset when she got robbed, she asked if my job is more important than her. That was when she wanted me to accompany her to get her new ic and atm cards, and I told her I had to be in school in the afternoon. The question upset me, because I felt as if both parties were stretching to tear me apart. In the end, I convinced her, I'm efficient enough in handling things, and therefore, I can make both my priorities.
I always claim I'll not have any children next time. Financial issues, fear and whatsoever aside, the main reason was responsibilty. I cannot assure that I can give my child as much attention as I'm giving to my students. Ever heard of stories about the parents of a naughty problematic kid are principal and discipline mistress of other schools. I don't want to see myself grooming other kids into respected members of society, and leaving my own children unattended.
At this moment, I am pleased with what I have. I will treasure them. :)
Next week is graces camp. It is going to be exciting for both myself and the girls. Too bad we aren't staying in the same block.
My four weeks of SMO training has ended too. I hope my explanations made sense to them. Some of the girls are really outstanding, I believe with good guidance and inspirations, they will be able to excel.
Everyday, more than 12 hours is spent on work, another hour on travelling. There's little time left for my closed ones, not to mention time for self-reflections and blah blah. I'm trying to convince myself that I'm doing so because I love my students, which I believe, it is really the case. Just yesterday, I spent two hours with one student, to bridge the gaps for the lessons she had missed coz of softball matches. I tried cheering her up, because she lost the match in the morning, which disqualified us for semi-finals. The two hours were intended for reading reports. So I ended up reading them on my way home and another hour in my intended sleep time.
I remember when my mum was all emo and upset when she got robbed, she asked if my job is more important than her. That was when she wanted me to accompany her to get her new ic and atm cards, and I told her I had to be in school in the afternoon. The question upset me, because I felt as if both parties were stretching to tear me apart. In the end, I convinced her, I'm efficient enough in handling things, and therefore, I can make both my priorities.
I always claim I'll not have any children next time. Financial issues, fear and whatsoever aside, the main reason was responsibilty. I cannot assure that I can give my child as much attention as I'm giving to my students. Ever heard of stories about the parents of a naughty problematic kid are principal and discipline mistress of other schools. I don't want to see myself grooming other kids into respected members of society, and leaving my own children unattended.
At this moment, I am pleased with what I have. I will treasure them. :)
Sunday, February 22, 2009
/ 10:15 AM
The preliminary round is finally over! One more Saturday to be spent at plmgs as a judge and that's it. Hopefully I can find some time to skim through the 9 reports before next Sat.
Quite stressed over the hosting of yesterday's prelim round. Lots of little things to look into, from water and refreshment to booking of LTs, printing of rubrics and consent forms, loaning of jackets for the students, sitting in for their rehearsals, pasting of signs to direct people to the LT, finding a emcee, venting the scripts, collecting keys and every other thing. Stressful, but valuable experiences gained. Really grateful towards my student helpers who showed lots of initiative during the event, and my colleagues who gave numerous reminders and advices. And of course, my friend yenchin for pasting the signs with me on Mon.
Sec 4 class photo taking on Friday. My first class photo with my form class. I think it was a good arrangement for all subject teachers to be in the photo as well. Too bad we never had this last time. Of course, the down side was that the teachers had to miss a number of lessons and had to rush the following week.
Last SMO training session next week. Can't wait to pass it to my colleague, who will be teaching them for the following seven weeks. Those sessions are draining my energy. I was dead tired after each session that I would sleep at 9 plus the very night. Worse still, I had to miss remedial with my girls. :(
Whole entry on work. It reflects I've no life.
The flowers I got on my Valentine's Day were dead before I took a photo of them. Poor flowers. My pink creative MP3 player is more reliable. Haha. I get to listen to my favourite songs on my way home from work. It keeps me from thinking about my students.
Argh. I need time to rest, cut my hair, cut my nails and everything. Ok, fine fine, I'll not kick a fuss, coz I am quite happy with what I'm doing and my girls are making progresses. :)
Quite stressed over the hosting of yesterday's prelim round. Lots of little things to look into, from water and refreshment to booking of LTs, printing of rubrics and consent forms, loaning of jackets for the students, sitting in for their rehearsals, pasting of signs to direct people to the LT, finding a emcee, venting the scripts, collecting keys and every other thing. Stressful, but valuable experiences gained. Really grateful towards my student helpers who showed lots of initiative during the event, and my colleagues who gave numerous reminders and advices. And of course, my friend yenchin for pasting the signs with me on Mon.
Sec 4 class photo taking on Friday. My first class photo with my form class. I think it was a good arrangement for all subject teachers to be in the photo as well. Too bad we never had this last time. Of course, the down side was that the teachers had to miss a number of lessons and had to rush the following week.
Last SMO training session next week. Can't wait to pass it to my colleague, who will be teaching them for the following seven weeks. Those sessions are draining my energy. I was dead tired after each session that I would sleep at 9 plus the very night. Worse still, I had to miss remedial with my girls. :(
Whole entry on work. It reflects I've no life.
The flowers I got on my Valentine's Day were dead before I took a photo of them. Poor flowers. My pink creative MP3 player is more reliable. Haha. I get to listen to my favourite songs on my way home from work. It keeps me from thinking about my students.
Argh. I need time to rest, cut my hair, cut my nails and everything. Ok, fine fine, I'll not kick a fuss, coz I am quite happy with what I'm doing and my girls are making progresses. :)
Sunday, February 08, 2009
/ 11:49 AM
Half way into Term 1. I thought the past five weeks have been hectic. The worse has yet to come. My next three Saturday mornings gonna be burnt. :(
I have in mind what I want to do for the next couple of days. Hope I'll be focused and determined enough to finish off the stuff, and if there's a need to, I'll say "I'm busy now, can I talk to you next time?" Oh man, I can't believe I've to resort to chasing my students away when I've to meet some horrible deadline that isn't academically related. So much about teaching...
Hopefully things will be better in three weeks time.
I vomited out my dinner last night. Probably due to stress. Oh well, I think I gonna conserve some energy, because I'm not sure who really appreciate my hard work.
I heard my naughty princesses have turned into well behaved good girls this term. My own lazy don't-want-to-do-homework girl has evolved into an enthusiastic student. They are the very reasons that I wanna hang on. With the increase in admin load, more academic unrelated stuff, more competitions to oversee, I'm beginning to have less time for my students. Seriously, I'm trying hard to have a more balanced life, both inside and outside of school.
I think I need a hobby. I really miss my nus days.
I have in mind what I want to do for the next couple of days. Hope I'll be focused and determined enough to finish off the stuff, and if there's a need to, I'll say "I'm busy now, can I talk to you next time?" Oh man, I can't believe I've to resort to chasing my students away when I've to meet some horrible deadline that isn't academically related. So much about teaching...
Hopefully things will be better in three weeks time.
I vomited out my dinner last night. Probably due to stress. Oh well, I think I gonna conserve some energy, because I'm not sure who really appreciate my hard work.
I heard my naughty princesses have turned into well behaved good girls this term. My own lazy don't-want-to-do-homework girl has evolved into an enthusiastic student. They are the very reasons that I wanna hang on. With the increase in admin load, more academic unrelated stuff, more competitions to oversee, I'm beginning to have less time for my students. Seriously, I'm trying hard to have a more balanced life, both inside and outside of school.
I think I need a hobby. I really miss my nus days.
Labels: school
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
/ 5:20 PM
Happy CNY!
Having a good break from work. Such a nice feeling to be able to rest and spend time with family. :) Despite being at home every single day, I admit I had been neglecting my parents during the past two weeks.
Didn't take out my camera in time, so not many photos to post, except for those of my nephew. Such a cute and lovely boy. He must be thinking I'm the new doll. He had great fun pulling my hair. :(
Went to wq's house after that. The third consecutive day I'm meeting him since Saturday. Played mahjong, and when we went back to my place in the evening, we played mahjong again. I won! Yay! Too bad my mum lost. I must say, I really admire her generousity. She was still smiling brightly when she lost thirty dollars. Of course, she has neven been a calculative person when it comes to spending on her family members. :)
Having a good break from work. Such a nice feeling to be able to rest and spend time with family. :) Despite being at home every single day, I admit I had been neglecting my parents during the past two weeks.
Didn't take out my camera in time, so not many photos to post, except for those of my nephew. Such a cute and lovely boy. He must be thinking I'm the new doll. He had great fun pulling my hair. :(
Went to wq's house after that. The third consecutive day I'm meeting him since Saturday. Played mahjong, and when we went back to my place in the evening, we played mahjong again. I won! Yay! Too bad my mum lost. I must say, I really admire her generousity. She was still smiling brightly when she lost thirty dollars. Of course, she has neven been a calculative person when it comes to spending on her family members. :)
Labels: family
